The bus trip

I was on a bus the other day and I was feeling melancholy and started thinking.

I was listening to Owl City. Across the row from me was woman with a loud 5 or 6 year old boy with a bag which said "If its beautiful its probably vinatge" and infront of me was a middle aged asian woman on her own. Right up the front I could see a geeky looking teenage boy with some musical instrument cases with him. It was a beautiful spring day with the sun shining, about 20 degrees. I was wearing my favourite jumper and I felt completly at home with myself listening to my favourite music and observing. I heard once that you should always look out of the window when your on a bus or car or train because you never know when inspiration might strike. So I looked out the window and saw the beauty of my country. The green hills and sheep and sunshine. A clear blue sky that you cant find anywhere eles in the world and winding road through the beautiful land. Then all of a sudden I felt free. Lately I have felt trapped. Trapped where I dont want to be. Too much stress and worry and pain. I have dreams and plans and I wanted so much for them to come true but on that bus, on that beautiful day, I was content. I had a family that loved me but didnt stop me doing what I want. I had friends waiting for me, full of love and kindness. I sat on that bus alone and felt independant, something I had wanted for so long. No one controlling or pulling me back and I right at that moment,  didnt need to worry about anything on the entire planet and I smiled. I smiled to myself in public. But I didnt care because it was feeling that you couldnt replace with any other in the world. No drugs or any form of alcohol can make you feel so free, lucky and happy in the same way that I felt that day. Appreciating the beauty and simplicity of nature and looking at the people that have worked hard and long, that have searched and found, or maybe havent yet, for themselfs and who they want to be and I sat and felt the way I wanted to feel for the rest of my life, I knew who I wanted to be and who I was. And I wanted to be that forever and ever. I didnt want the bus to stop at my stop. I could have sat on that bus all day if I could feel like that some more. Happy. At peace. Getting off would mean facing the world. Talking. Being kind. Listening. I didnt want that right then. I wanted to sit with myself and smile, think and enjoy life as I could see it then. But I did get off and face the world and I had fun. I laughed and felt happy to be with friends that loved me and cared about me and listened to me but I didnt, couldnt explain what I had felt like. I just talked about the usual things because no one wants to be bored by me and my deep thinking.

So I suppose that you should always try and escape sometimes. Admire whateves around you. Smile. Laugh. Be genuinly happy. Love and appreciate whatever and hoever is around you.

Love Miadora
xxx